Please note that this thread is specifically for the laughs.
First Circle: Destined Builders
The fated few. These guys walk into the server and literally shit excellence. Or, at least excellence as far as building without commands goes. They don't ask questions, they don't make a hassle, they just find a spot on the map and get to it. Half the time, they don't even think to ask for a promotion when they're done; builders or veterans wind up flying around and calling on an operator for them. Unfortunately, there are too few of this kind of guest; otherwise, I'm sure after a few months, the server would have more masons than operators.
Second Circle: Casual Guests
For these guests, they aren't much more than that; guests. They come in, make a build or two, talk to others around them, leave, and repeat either later that day or the day afterwards. Every now and again, they will surprise you and make a builder-worthy creation, but it isn't often. More than likely, this circle will be promoted on good stats and server dedication than anything else. They generally don't cause problems, but they may wind up getting in trouble for not knowing the server rules at first.
Third Circle: Immature Whiners
This circle is notorious for one line: "I need an op to come check my build" (variations may vary due to the persons age, maturity, or intelligence, or some awful combination of the three). In most cases, this circle will create a small build, add a couple of rooms, maybe some furniture, and immediately afterwards spam chat for every op on the server (if they could, they'd spam the world) to come by and rank their attempt at a build. This group is also notorious for not being the quickest to understand that they need to "add a bit more to it". When this phrase is offered, they will whine, complain, throw a tantrum, and/or descend into one of the lower circles of hell to compensate for pathetic building skills. Seeing as how whining isn't against the rules (unless done in extremely long doses), they will continue to bitch and moan for builder rank, completely unaware at how much less and less the operators, or anyone else, really cares...
Fourth Circle: Tunnellers
This is a semi-common appearance of guest, but when you stop and think about it, a very strange one. This circle enjoys keeping itself buried in the dirt and stone blocks rather than making something above ground for everyone to see and enjoy. About 98% of the time, this group will stay on main (I'm willing to believe every now and again, some guest gets curious about antfarm and decides to try it out). This group holds some of the best escape artists on the server, since they can just jump down a tunnel, seal it off from behind, and keep running forward. They are tricky, but not uncatchable. This circle is the first that can be potentially kicked off the server, although kicks based on tunnelling alone are pretty uncommon.
Fifth Circle: Spammers and Spleefers
An aesthetic nuisance. This circle is divided into two semi-circles, each with similar degrees of douchebaggery. The spammers will randomly generate lines of whatever kind of block they want onto the server with absolutely no constructive purpose behind it at all. When they first start, it can be difficult to tell them apart from any other guest, but if they just keep forming lines of misplaced blocks all the way across the map, you've got a spamming little douche. Also in this circle are the spleefers. This subgroup specializes in knocking out the blocks beneath you, causing you to sometimes fall off your build or fall deeper into the world. On the one hand, this group of people is just as bad as griefers, but when you stop and think about it, spleefers take their issue to you rather than to your builds. So for that reason, they are one circle above griefers just for having the balls to pick a fight with you rather than to mess with your stuff. In the sad event more than one of these guys get together, you can (and usually will) have what looks like a bunch of tunnellers all huddling together and doing their thing. The interesting thing about this group is that if you are vet+ (aka you have the ability to hide), you can unhide and stay on the ground to test their spleefing prowess; if they try to spleef you, theyre screwed.
Sixth Circle: Griefers and Trolls
Unfortunately, this circle tends to be the most abundant of all the guests. It's hard to say whether they log on and wreak havoc due to personal insecurities, lack of any building/social skills, or because they are truly just the scum of the Minecraft world, but in any situation, these guys fuck shit up in whatever way they can to earn themselves the most hateful attention possible. As with the last circle, this circle can be divided into two subgroups, each distinct but very similar in effect. The trolls exist mainly to piss anybody who will listen off. They do not shy away from profanity, racism, disrespect for authority, or insulting someones respective maternal unit. In fact, they thrive off the reactions of annoyance and eventually hostility. The best way to handle a troll (other than just muting their ass for 5 minute periods at a time) is to simply try to piss them off instead. You see, trolls do not have much control over their emotions, seeing as how they thrive off negativity. So if you in turn piss them off, they will react with rage and give you a non-negotiable reason to kick them out (at least until they inevitably return about two more times until their long-overdue ban). On the other end of the circle lies the most infamous guest of them all; the griefer. They are Steve-shaped wrecking balls, with no remorse for their actions and no conscience to care whose build they are destroying, how much energy they devoted to it, or if they were trying to use it to go for builder. In short, they're basically creepers with an account name and password. The best way to spot a griefer is /bi for builder+, but in the event that the worlds been around for too long, then /info guest names to find the ones who have deleted a couple thousand and placed less than a hundred; more often then not, those 2k deleted were knocked out of someone's build. Griefers are also masters of another trick; playing dumb. If you freeze one, their reaction 9 times out of 10 will sound something like this; "Wtf are you talking about, I didn't grief anything, I promise!" (note this is usually said right before they continue griefing). These guests serve no purpose outside of making other people's lives and entertainment more miserable, so do whatever you can to avoid them as a guest, and destroy them as a veteran+.
Seventh Circle: Swastikas, Speedgrief, and the Demoted
This is the lowest form of Guest life you can find. Remember how I mentioned the scum of the Minecraft world in that last circle? If that scum were to poo, it would belong here. Guests who fit into this circle of Guest-Hell are buying themselves a quick and painful ban from which there really isn't any coming back from. This circle is comprised of three subcircles. The Swastika makers are the easiest to spot, as the familiar and distinct shape of swastikas are pretty easy to find anywhere. However, that is part of their nature; they want to be noticed for their views, which further adds to their monumental douchebaggery. They are the most extreme case of trolls, and thankfully, can be instantly banned from the server, no questions asked. The next subcircle is the Speedgriefers, who use the World of Minecraft client to enhance their griefy ways. They are at times, a tremendous pain in the ass to catch, since they will be flying and zooming across the map, removing blocks as quick as you can follow them. However, should you manage to get a freeze on him, do make sure they get a nice classy instant ban all the same. Finally, the last subcircle belongs to the Demoted. They are at the lowest circle of Hell because they knew the rules, and obeyed them enough to earn special commands, but once they had that little fragment of power, they turned around and abused it. They are a risk factor amongst builders as well, seeing as how they have the potential to bring a bit of Hell to the safety of the builder worlds. However, once builder grief is spotted, it is usually met with a demotion and sometimes a ban to match, with the opportunity for redemption existing on the forums that only a very small few ever capitalize on.
And that concludes my list of The Seven Circles of Guest-Hell. Enjoy
I like.
